This Isn’t The Apocalypse, So Stop Comparing To Post-Apocalyptic Fiction, Maybe?

Hello all you happy people! Are you alive, well staying the fuck at home?

Good.

So, first things first. I’m fine, working slowly on my writing projects while playing Tales of Berseria. And waiting for Trudeau to pay me while my dog-sitting slowly dies. 🤷‍♀️What are you gonna do? Point out to the Americans that they’ve always been self-righteous thieves who will gladly murder the entire rest of the world so as to maintain their fragile egos? That’s sounds like a great plan!

So yeah. Donny-boy and his team of Yanks are stealing masks from Germany, France, his own fucking states and is trying to block 3M from shipping masks to Canada. Back to Canada, I should say, as all the supplies used to make the damned things originate here. Holy Godzilla, Donny, I always knew your country was evil, but past administrations at least tried to do a little good. You’re like, Monty Burns at this point.

Something else that’s been bugging me: the recent takes I’ve seen comparing this pandemic to apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic fiction. It goes something like this: this, normal if nasty, pandemic isn’t destroying society but bringing it together (no fucking shit, Sherlock), so clearly those macho (wtf?) post-apocalyptic stories like Mad Max: Fury Road (the angry, feminist post-apocalyptic movie that deconstructed every aspect of modern masculinity it could get it’s hands on is now uber-macho? What?) are wrong! In short, it’s the old school yard shout of ‘I read better books than you, ha ha!’ given an intellectual, sort of feminist veneer.

Here’s the truth, oh chuckleheaded ones: the reason the Covid-19 pandemic isn’t behaving anything like apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic fiction is because they’re completely fucking different events! Covid-19 is a virulent, dangerous coronavirus, true. It’s killed a lot of people and will kill more.

It is not: Skynet launching all nukes at once (Terminator), total and sudden environmental collapse (Mad Max), an asteroid smashing into us and reenacting the K-Pg extinction (the nineties. God that was popular in the nineties), nor is it some massive volcano spewing tons of ash and whatnot into the air.

You know what’s common to all those scenarios? The suddenness of it. As opposed to a pandemic, which is pretty slow (by disaster standards, anyway) giving us a ton of time to react.

Have we done so? Er, not as well as we should have. But we, even the Americans, have taken the steps necessary to contain the virus. It will end. The death toll will stop, and the economy will recover. It will be a different society at the end, and hopefully a better one, but not the fucking end!

Stay safe. Stay at home. Don’t listen to Trump.

Birds of Prey and the Massaging of Margot Robbie’s Ego

Just in case anybody’s wondering what my opinion on the upcoming BoP movie is.

There are a long list of problems with this damned movie, and Harley (played by the terrible Margot Robbie, who is also the producer and driving creative force behind this drivel) is at the top of the list.

  • First, there’s the fact that Robbie can’t act for shit.
  • Second, there’s the continued sexualization of someone with a mental illness. But now, with a thin feminist veneer, so that makes it a-ok!
  • Third, Harley is hogging an awful lot of the spotlight. She’s shown to be more competent than Black Canary, Huntress is virtually absent from marketing, and Cassandra Cain (the alleged main character) is nowhere to be seen! Okay, not quite. But she’s vanishingly rare.
  • Speaking of Cass, this version of Cass is pretty damned ableist. Cass in the comics suffers from PTSD, is illiterate, probably autistic, definitely neuro-atypical and a skilled martial artist. Movie!Cass is a random, mouthy kid who needs to be saved.
  • Helena Bertinelli is being played by an Anglo.
  • Where the fuck is Barbara Gordon? You know, the founder of the team?
  • The teams outfits are…wrong. Okay, I get it, BC’s outfit won’t work on film. Arguably, it doesn’t work in comics either. But why is one of the world’s greatest martial artists wearing a goddamn sports bra and long hair?
    • Harley looks an 80’s streetwalker
    • Huntress is wearing some kind of leotard thing and cargo pants.
    • Cass is dressed like some rich person’s version of a homeless person.
  • Black Mask is a camp gay stereotype.

There is nothing, nada, that makes me as a fan of these character want to watch this movie.

And, frankly, there shouldn’t be anything that makes you want to watch it either.

Body Types, Body Image, And Comic Books: An Indictment Of Our Current Conversations

I’m back, and I gotta tell you: there’s nothing like pretending other people don’t exist for four days. It’s rejuvenating in the extreme; you guys should try it sometime.

Anyway, I’m back, working on mapping out new chapters, a new novel and my review of Troy: Fall of A City. And one thing that’s been bugging me throughout all of this is body types and shapes.

And man do I have some thoughts on the subject.

Under the cut!

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