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Fandom Heresies: Batman Should Be Unarmoured, Part 3: Conclusion

Hello all you happy people! Josh Stoodley with the final post on whether or not Batman should be armoured.

In the first post (here) we discussed how armour works in the real world. In the second post (here) we discussed Batman’s origins, how he evolved, and why he isn’t DC’s knock off of Tony Stark, no matter how much modern writers want to make into one.

Today, we are going to sum up everything and lay out the final conclusion: that Batman should be unarmoured. That by going around and tanking bullets, he’s stepping on other characters toes and betraying a fundamental aspect of his character. That armour would in fact impede Batman’s style of combat and make him more vulnerable, not less.

However, before we get there we have some housekeeping to do. In the process of outlining Superman, Wonder Woman and Fantastic Four, I realized that I had half-finished chapters for all three of them. So I’m going to finish up and polish those chapters than post them sometime within the next two weeks. Work on No Blood for Business has also started extensively this month, and will be released in 2023.

And, as always, if you enjoy these posts you can support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate.

Now on to the controversies!

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The Queen Is Dead! Long Live The King!

Man, the real world has a way of disrupting my plans, don’t it?

For those of you living under a rock, last Thursday, Queen Elizabeth II died peacefully in Balmoral Castle.

For Americans, the Queen was just another celebrity, albeit one with some political heft to her. No actual power, but a lifetime of experience and a certain symbolic status. A mobile portrait, if you will, good for livening up a slow news day.

As a Canadian, my relationship with my queen is very different.

To begin with, for me, she was the queen, as is true of pretty much everybody born after 1952. My dad remembers some coins with King George VI’s portrait on them, but that’s about it. Elizabeth defined the monarchy for, not just Canadians but everybody in the Commonwealth, for seventy years. No other politician has had such a long lasting impact on their country politics and cultural identity (note: dictators don’t count. By it’s very nature, dictatorships are designed to bypass the normal interplay of politics. This is also why they fuck up more often and more concretely than normal politicians. Right, Vlad?)

The key word there is cultural identity. The monarchy is a key part of what defines and separates us from the cultural black hole that is our southern neighbours. The end goal of the United States of America is to transform everyone into carbon copies of them: with the same culture, same political structure, same language, yes even the same spelling. America is the centre of political and cultural gravity in the modern world, whatever the PRC’s pretensions.

And to that end, it is vital we as Canadians, in concert with other nations in the Commonwealth, work to maintain our distinct cultural identity in the face of relentless attacks from the American machine.

The monarchy is a huge part of that. Not just culturally, but politically as well. The Americans are the presidential republic (even though they are kind of unique in that regard; most presidential republics separate the head of government from the head of state. America does not); keeping to a constitutional monarchy immediately identifies you as not American. You aren’t part of their grasping, greedy empire or their cultural machine.

Perhaps, in time, the monarchies will fade from the world, and we will all be poorer for it. The world works better with a rich tapestry of different governments, each tailored to their people’s needs and cultures and not just working out of the American playbook (again, dictatorships don’t count. They aren’t responsive to people’s needs, are invariably corrupt and are only superficially connected to their people’s culture. The world will improve greatly once the likes of Putin and Xi are dead and buried).

And now it falls to King Charles III to continue on this great work. Some nations are thinking of ditching the monarchy altogether; as I’ve made clear in this post I think this is a mistake. America, ever intent on remaking the world in their image, will reach out and attempt to remould these nations until they are little more than mini-Americas, just outlet stores for America’s excesses. On the plus side, they are too far away to be bothered by Russia or China (Australia and New Zealand are the exceptions here; they could very much be bothered by China. However, Australia and New Zealand are also much richer and more powerful than some of the other countries in the Commonwealth; if China gets too uppity she could find herself choking on the world’s smallest continent), and the Commonwealth will protect them somewhat.

Either way, it falls to Charles now to make the case for the monarchy. Part of this will be letting those nations go who want to go gracefully; my opinions on the wisdom of their choices aside, there is nothing that will sink the monarchy faster than the impression that they are still a greedy, grasping empire. In slamming America, we have to admit it suckled imperialism as mother’s milk: the British Empire once ruled one-quarter of the globe. It is time to bury that legacy in the ground where it belongs, and that will mean letting those countries who wish to pursue republicanism do so without complaint.

But it will also mean Charles will have to engage in the politics of the day in a way his mother couldn’t or shouldn’t. Environmentalism, a cause near and dear to Charles’ heart, is becoming a bigger issue every day. We are, if we haven’t reached it yet, damn near the brink here. Without radical change in how we do things, Earth is going to burn. Fortunately, some of this process has already been kickstarted (thanks, Vlad!), but Charles is going to need to be a leader here, conventions be damned. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, and while I’m not advocating Charles take up real political power again (there’s no public appetite for it anyway), he needs to use his moral and celebrity authority to advocate for the environment. Because, man, I don’t want to burn to death in twenty years. Or die choking on smog.

Rising inequality is another area where Charles needs to lead. Fact is, guys, inequality is bad and getting worse. Canada is one of the worst, with income inequality rising faster here. If Charles wants to stay king and pass the throne to his son and grandchildren, he needs to start advocating for the poorest and weakest among us. When the impoverished feel disenfranchised, that’s when the start advocating for radical changes. People who feel like the king (or president, prime minister, whatever. The principle is universal) is working for them, they are much more likely to give him their support. Funny how that works, eh?

Again, I’m not saying Charles should take up real political power again. Far from it. But he does have authority; people listen to him. Sometimes whether they like it or not. And a person with a bully pulpit who does not advocate for the most pressing issues of today, be it the environment or rising inequality or any of a half-dozen other things, is someone who is unfit for that role.

Look, I get it. Charles will have to modify his style somewhat now that he’s king. A king really shouldn’t be micro-managing his ministers, ceremonial position or no. And I sure don’t expect him to give a stump speech outlining the policies of his administration!

No, leave the work a day politics to the work a day politicians. That is literally what we pay them for. But at the same time, neither should the royals be useless celebrities who are only good for tabloid fodder. There are real issues facing us today, issues that require us to come together to face them.

In this respect, Charles model should be the Pope. Pope Francis is an imperfect figure, no question. But he has lent his moral and spiritual authority to the weightiest of topics, trying to lead his people to a better, more peaceful life. I can’t say he’s always succeeded, and has been dead wrong on some accounts (no, it’s not NATO’s fault Russia invaded Ukraine. That particular bit of evil was all on Putin, as are the bloody losses his troops have suffered.), but I think he has threaded the needle of being a ceremonial leader with the need to confront real world issues rather well. The Catholic Church will endure, and that is partially due to Francis’ leadership. Charles would do well to learn from his compatriot.

That’s it for this week. Next week is our regularly scheduled Fandom Heresy, concluding our discussion on Batman’s armour.

See you then! And remember, God Save The King!

Happy Labour Day Weekend!

Hello all you happy people! Josh Stoodley here with yet another blog post!

This week is more of a housekeeping post than anything. I want to update you on my current plans, how some of my plans have fallen through and just generally what’s going on with me.

So, first off, I’ve done another social media purge. I’m off both Reddit and Instagram. I left Instagram because, let’s face it, Facebook (no, I’m not calling them Meta; that’s a stupid name) is really shady. I left Reddit for much the same reason I left Twitter: I just kept getting in stupid, pointless fights. I’m not sure if it’s me, other people, or just the nature of social media but hey! There’s an easy solution: don’t go on social media!

So the only places you can find me are here, my Patreon, Ko-fi , ArchiveofOurOwn and Tumblr. Tumblr is pretty much a deadspace at the moment; the only thing I’m posting there are my DCAU liveblogs.

Which I’m starting back up this week! Catch me today as we dig into the next episode of Static Shock!

On to fanfiction… followers of this blog and me on AO3 will notice that I still haven’t uploaded the next chapter of Batman. That’s because the chapter has gotten away from me somewhat; it’s much longer and more ungainly then I’d initially planned. So I’m going to have to split into two chapters, which is annoying because it disrupts my long term plans for both Batman and other series.

Speaking of which, this month will all be dedicated to outlining the remainder of Superman, Wonder Woman, Fantastic Four and No Blood for Business. That means I should be posting new chapters for all four of those by October; Brockhold will take a little longer but hopefully I will be posting it by November. Either way, I still plan to release both Brockhold and No Blood for Business in 2023. That is, of course, assuming Putin and his warmongering morons don’t nuke us all to hell and back. War is for idiots, people, don’t do it.

Next up are further updates for this blog. Next week we will be continuing the Fandom Heresies with our conclusions on why Batman should be unarmoured. The week after that, we will finally get to the long-promised post on Legends of Infernia, what my intentions are with it and how I intend to go about it. The week after that, I plan on doing some speculative analysis of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Which brings me to video games in general. Video games are much more work than novels or fanfiction, and they take much longer than either. I have finished the outline for LoI, and I hope to finish the script by November. But I don’t expect serious work on the game to start until 2023. Expect the game to only be on the Nintendo Switch!

That’s it for this week, guys. I’ll see you next time!

Fandom Heresies: Batman Should Be Unarmoured, Part 2: Batman Is A Detective Ninja

Hello all you happy people! Josh Stoodley here with another Fandom Heresies post. This week we will be talking about who and what Batman is. We will be looking at the core character concept from the original Golden Age Batman all the way through to the most modern versions of the character. This is all a set-up for the third and final post in this series, where we will look at both this post and the previous one (which you can find here.

But first, some housekeeping. Pokémon Red Version chapter nine will be up this week, as will Batman chapter nine. We will be delving into my version of how Robin came to be, so be sure to check that out!

Heroic Fantasy has undergone some minor rewrites, and chapter seven will also be up this week.

Meanwhile, if you enjoy these posts, please support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate.

On to Batman!

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Longest Summer of My Life

Good afternoon all you happy people!

It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted, and I apologize for that. For the last three weeks, I’ve been dealing with a difficult, and they ate up a lot of my time. I haven’t gotten much writing in at all this last month.

In fact, this whole summer has been incredibly busy. The busiest summer I’ve ever had as a dog sitter, and so my writing has slowed to a crawl.

However! Summer is pretty much over for me. My days will get much more quiet from here on in, and I should be able to write more often.

I’ll see you next week!

If you enjoy this post, please support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate.

Fandom Heresies: Batman Should Be Unarmoured, Part 1: How Armour Works In The Real World

Hello all you happy people! Josh Stoodley here with another Fandom Heresies post. This week, we’re talking about Batman. Specifically, whether or not Batman should wear armour.

This will be a multi-part series, starting with the real world limitations and strengths of armour. Then next week, we’re going to discuss Batman himself. How he fights, how he would operate in the real world and how I think he should fight, and the inspirations behind his character. Both originally and the many revamps afterwards. Then in the third and final post we will summarize and analyze our findings so far and discuss why turning Batman into a poor man’s Tony Stark is a bad idea.

But first, there is some housekeeping to deal with. First, the next chapter of The Amazing Spider-Man has been released and is up on AO3. Second, the next chapter of Pokémon: Red Version will be up this week. I also hope to have the next chapter of Batman up this week but we’ll see.

Also remember that if you enjoy my work, you can support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate.

On to the heresy!

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Writing Through Depression And The Next Fandom Heresy

Good morning my fellow random response generators! I’m back today with another post, albeit one which I wished I did not have to write.

I have major depressive disorder. I have for years at this point, but lately it has gotten much worse. As you can imagine, this has negatively impacted my writing. I’ve managed to power through and get some done, but I’ve slowed down considerably. It’s just… hard to focus, to get anything done.

Fortunately, it’s not all doom and gloom. I’ve talked to my doctor and I’m now on antidepressants and on the waiting list for counselling. I don’t like discussing my mental health online, but I felt I owed you guys an explanation.

On to the other half of this post!

Next week, I will be reviving Fandom Heresies with a new post: Why Batman Should Be Unarmoured. A lot of people out there, especially on Reddit but even some comic book writers and artists, think of Batman as a poor man’s Tony Stark: walking around in powered armour, tanking bullets and generally being Superman in black. And man is that a bad interpretation of the character. So we’re going to discuss what a detective-ninja should be wearing, why Batman wears what he does, and the limitations of armour. That will come out on Sunday.

For this week, the next chapter of The Amazing Spider-Man will go up AO3. I also plan to get the next chapter of Pokémon Red Version up this week. And maybe the next chapter of Batman. We’ll see.

I’ll see you guys next week!

If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate.

Exhausted By Cute Doggies

On the plus side, I’m no longer sick.

On the downside, my dog sitting business has been overwhelming again, so it’s hard to get any writing done

On the plus plus side, that means more money for me!

On the the downside, I’m exhausted.

On the plus plus plus side, I’ve finally finished The Uncanny X-Men: Volume 1! Yay!

I’ll see you guys next week!

Sicker Than A Dog, But Tomorrow Is Dinosaurs!

I’ve been sick for the past week and a half (not Covid!), so I obviously have done no writing whatsoever.

I’m still sick, but feeling a lot better.

That’s not what I want to talk about, though. I want to talk about dinosaurs.

Specifically, Apple TV+’s new dinosaur documentary, Prehistoric Planet. Narrated by Sir David Attenborough, it’s a five-night special with up to date CGI, feathered dinosaurs (accurately feathered, too; none of this ‘glue feathers on JP lizards’ nonsense), rare dinos like Deinocheirus, Nanuqsaurus and Pachyrinosaurus, complex animal behaviours instead of just marauding monsters, baby Triceratops and T. rexes….

It’s gonna be so cool, guys. I strongly recommend you watch it. And if you don’t have Apple TV+, no worries! They offer a free, seven day trial. Just sign up and cancel it after you’re done. That’s what I’m going to do.

See you guys next week!

If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon or buy me a hot chocolate