My Novels

Robots and Vampires:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/918304

http://www.lulu.com/shop/joshua-corbeil-stoodley/robots-and-vampires-a-cyborgs-odyssey/ebook/product-23955234.html

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00VTWMR7W

https://books2read.com/u/m2r98o

The Standard Tech Case Files: The Black Coats:

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00VTWMR7W

https://books2read.com/u/3npdlx

The Standard Tech Case Files: The Dead and The Damned

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01MRSBC7I

Toothaches And Other Shenanigans

Hi guys! I know I promised a post last week, but I have in fact been in crippling agony for the past week or so due to a cavity that I should have taken care of years ago, but didn’t.

Whoops.

But you don’t want to know about my pain, you want to know about my writing.

And, admittedly, I haven’t gotten a lot done this month. Between the American election and my toothache, I’ve been drained to the max.

So here’s a quick update.

The Standard Tech Case Files: No Blood For Business

Work on the first chapter continues apace. Originally, I had planned to have the first chapter and second chapter finished for this month, but that’s not going to happen.

A preview for the first chapter can be seen on my Patreon. Link here: https://www.patreon.com/joshstoodley

Brockhold

Introducing my newest series, Brockhold! Inspired by the Redwall series by the late (and deeply lamented) Brian Jacques, it takes place in a pseudo-England inhabited by woodland creatures.

The main character is Redfur (name open to revision) a weasel commoner recently promoted to High Constable of Brockhold. He and his best friend, Hob Short-tail, must contend with the damage done to the castle’s guard by the previous High Constable, the lord of Brockhold’s son.

That’s not all the two have to contend with, though. Lord Morchyn of Brockhold intends to marry his son off to Countess Johanna, the young and newly ascended lady of another hold. In Countess Johanna’s retinue is the Lady Ailenor Laflamme, a weasel who’s as hard-bitten and cynical as Redfur himself is.

While the two retainers clash over what is best for their lords, other victims of the previous war arise, with plans of their own…

As always, preview chapters will be posted on Patreon.

Fanfiction

This has been a slow year for updates to my fanfic, and I apologize for that.

However, more is coming!

Wonder Woman

The next chapter is going to undergo a complete re-write; currently it’s all exposition and bad exposition at that.

So that may not come out this year.

That’s it for this time, I’ll see you guys again soon!


If you enjoyed this post, please consider subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/joshstoodley or donating to my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/falconlord.

You can also catch me at Tumblr at https://falconlord5.tumblr.com where I post live blogs of DCAU shows, the Adam West Batman series and other shit that interests me.

If This Election Taught Us One Thing, It’s That Americans Don’t Need Trump To Be Evil

The polls close. Trump loses. How does the American left respond?

Why, by blaming absolutely everybody else for their failures and instigating a civil war!

That’s in addition to Americans continual need to comment on nations they don’t understand, couldn’t if they tried, and can’t find on a map, thus putting the citizens of the country in danger. Fucking empires, they never change, do they?

Oh! Oh! And all that’s in addition to Trump refusing to concede the election for weeks, stirring up white supremacist and neo-Nazi violence, culminating in that little march last night.

Fuck me, but I do hate America.

On to other news, I haven’t gotten anything done in the first two weeks of November (gee, I wonder why?). Starting tomorrow, however, that will change.

I’ll even have an update for you on yet another project I’ve started! Yeah, yeah, I know.

Later alligators. Don’t let the Americans bite.

Dolce et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime.—
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Bitter[1] as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

-Wilfred Owen.

Lest we forget? We have forgotten. Our soldiers, condemned to kill and die so that others may live, are even now being funnelled into yet greater horrors to prop up somebody’s profit margin.

Civilians, the very people soldiers are meant to defend, have been subjected to endless war.

We broke the faith.

One Last Post To The Americans

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

-Emma Lazarus, The New Colossus

To The Americans


(This is your celebration)
(This is your celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)


There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now


(Celebration) Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
(Celebration) We gon’ celebrate and have a good time


It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure?
(Everyone around the world come on)


(Yahoo) It’s a celebration
(Yahoo)

Celebrate good times, come on (It’s a celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)


There’s a party goin’ on right here
A dedication to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate and party with you
Come on now


(Celebration) Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
(Celebration) We gon’ celebrate and have a good time


It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure?
(Everyone around the world come on)


(Yahoo) It’s a celebration
(Yahoo) It’s a celebration


Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate, come on now)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
We’re gonna have a good time tonight


Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right, baby
We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Celebration)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Celebration)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right


(Yahoo)
(Yahoo)


Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on (It’s a celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on (Come on and celebrate tonight)
(Baby everything’s gonna be alright, let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on
Celebrate good times, come on (Let’s have a great time, celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on

-Kool & the Gang, Celebration

To Vice-President Elect Kamala Devi Harris

I understand you are a fan of Prince. I’m not, but I am a big Batman fan. I figure this is a fair congratulation on your victory, then:


(“Oh, I got a live one here!”)
Get the funk up!
Batman
Get the funk up!
Batman
Get the funk up!
(“Go, go, go with a smile!”)
Batdance
Do it
Keep busting

[Verse 2]
I’ve seen the future and it will be
Batman, Batman
I’ve seen the future and it will be
Batman (house, do it, house)
“And where, and where is the Batman?”
Do it, do it
Let’s do it, let’s do it
Do it, do it
Do it, do it


“Stop the press”
“Stop the press, who is that?”
“Vicki Vale, Vicki Vale”
“I like”
Batman
Batman
Batman
“Oh – that’s nice”
“Hi, Bruce Wayne”
“I’ve tried to avoid all this, but I can’t”
“I just got to know… are we going to try to love each other?”
“Stop the press – who is that?”
“Vicki Vale”
“She is great, isn’t she?”
[Verse 3]
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
I wanna bust that body
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
I wanna bust that body right
“I’d like to”
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
“But he’s out there right now”
I wanna bust that body
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah tonight


“Well, Miss Vale”
“Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?”
“I always ask that of all my prey.”
“I just like the sound of it.”
(screams)


I’ve got to go to work
Batman
I’ve got to go to work
Batman
If a man is considered guilty
Work!
For what goes on in his mind
Work!
Then gimme the electric chair
Work!
For all my future crimes-OH
Work!
Electric chair
[Bridge 2]
Hey Ducky, let me stick the 7-inch
In the computer
HA, HA, HA
Hey, we got the power
Oh, we got the soul
Hey, we got to sho’nuff get off
To make the devil go, go
“This town needs an enema!”


“I’m going to kill you”
Power
“I’m not going kill you”
Soul
“I’m going to kill you”
Power
“I’m not going to kill you”
Soul
Let’s do it
“I’m Batman”
Batman
Don’t stop dancing
“I’m Batman”
Batman
Don’t stop dancing
Do it, do it, do it, do it

Batman
Batman
Batman
Don’t stop, don’t stop
Let’s do it
Don’t stop dancing
Let’s do it, Batman
Let’s do it, Batman
Don’t stop dancing
Don’t stop dancing
No, damn it! Turn the music back up!
You son of a bitch!


Have you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
Who’s going to stop 200 balloons?
Nobody!
Batman
Stop!

-Prince Batdance

To President-Elect Joseph Robinette Biden

I left my faith behind a long time ago (both of them), but I understand you still have yours. A tribute, then, to our shared heritage:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is dispair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;  

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.  

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. 

-The Prayer of St. Francis.

To The Former President Donald John Trump, Who Will No Doubt Face Lengthy Prison Sentences For His Crimes


Hey!
Hey!


Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more
Whatever you’re looking for
Hey! Don’t come around here no more
I’ve given up, stop
I’ve given up, stop
Ah, ah, ah, ooh-ooh
I’ve given up, stop, on waiting any longer
I’ve given up, on this love getting stronger


Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more


I don’t feel you anymore
You darken my door
Whatever you’re looking for
Hey! Don’t come around here no more
I’ve given up, stop
I’ve given up, stop
Ah, ah, ah, ooh-ooh
I’ve given up, stop, you tangle my emotions
I’ve given up, honey please, admit it’s over
[Post-Chorus]
Hey! Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more
Don’t come around here no more
Hey! Don’t come around here no more


Stop walking down my street
Don’t come around here no more
Who did you expect to meet?
Don’t come around here no more
Whatever you’re looking for
Hey! Don’t come around here no more
Hey!


Honey please (Honey please)
Don’t come around here no more
Whatever you’re looking for
Don’t come around here no more

-Tom Petty, Don’t Come Around Here No More

To Donald Trump, Who By The Grace of God Will Be An Only One-Term President

Some folks are born, made to wave the flag
Ooh, that red, white and blue
And when the band plays, “Hail To The Chief”
Ooh, they point the cannon at you

It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no senator’s son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one

Some folks are born, silver spoon in hand
Lord, don’t they help themselves, y’all
But when the taxman comes to the door
Lord, the house look-ah like a rummage sale, yes-ah

It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no millionaire’s son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one

Yeah, yeah, some folks inherit star-spangled eyes
Ooh, they’ll send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask them, “How much should we give?”
Ooh, they only answer, “More, more, more”

It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no military son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no military son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no

It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no military son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one

It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no military son, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no

-Creedence Clearwater Revival, Fortunate Son