Birds of Prey and the Massaging of Margot Robbie’s Ego

Just in case anybody’s wondering what my opinion on the upcoming BoP movie is.

There are a long list of problems with this damned movie, and Harley (played by the terrible Margot Robbie, who is also the producer and driving creative force behind this drivel) is at the top of the list.

  • First, there’s the fact that Robbie can’t act for shit.
  • Second, there’s the continued sexualization of someone with a mental illness. But now, with a thin feminist veneer, so that makes it a-ok!
  • Third, Harley is hogging an awful lot of the spotlight. She’s shown to be more competent than Black Canary, Huntress is virtually absent from marketing, and Cassandra Cain (the alleged main character) is nowhere to be seen! Okay, not quite. But she’s vanishingly rare.
  • Speaking of Cass, this version of Cass is pretty damned ableist. Cass in the comics suffers from PTSD, is illiterate, probably autistic, definitely neuro-atypical and a skilled martial artist. Movie!Cass is a random, mouthy kid who needs to be saved.
  • Helena Bertinelli is being played by an Anglo.
  • Where the fuck is Barbara Gordon? You know, the founder of the team?
  • The teams outfits are…wrong. Okay, I get it, BC’s outfit won’t work on film. Arguably, it doesn’t work in comics either. But why is one of the world’s greatest martial artists wearing a goddamn sports bra and long hair?
    • Harley looks an 80’s streetwalker
    • Huntress is wearing some kind of leotard thing and cargo pants.
    • Cass is dressed like some rich person’s version of a homeless person.
  • Black Mask is a camp gay stereotype.

There is nothing, nada, that makes me as a fan of these character want to watch this movie.

And, frankly, there shouldn’t be anything that makes you want to watch it either.

That Little Rey of Mine, I’m Gonna Let It Shine: A Speculative Analysis On Rey

Morning peoples!

I know this is rather later than I promised, but I think it’s worth it. A ton of new teases concerning Rey have come up in the last few weeks, and though they haven’t altered my overall view of the situation, they are fun to think about.

So, let’s jump under the cut to about the (current) last Jedi!

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The Leader of the Pack: A Speculative Analysis of Poe Dameron

Greetings peoples! I’m sorry I haven’t had any fresh content for you for the last couple I’ve weeks; I’ve been battling a cold.

But I’m (mostly) over it now and back in action! Today I want to talk about one of my favourite characters and definitely one of yours:

Poe Dameron!

Join me under the cut!

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How To Destroy A Villain In Two Movies: A Speculative Analysis Of Kylo Ren

Greetings my fellow Star Wars junkies! I’ve been busy detoxing with the more wholesome fare of Detective Pikachu and Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but it’s now time to wander back into cinematic equivalent of heroin.

This week we’re looking at a guy who’s gone from interesting mid-level villain to less-than-credible galactic-level threat to useless appendage.

Yes, we’re talking about Kylo Ren! Join me under the cut!

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Detective Pikachu, I Choose You!

So guess what I saw last Friday?

The world’s first live-action Pokémon has been out for three days and has proven to be a success with audiences, rolling towards a fifty-five million dollar opening. Which is pretty good, seeing as Soulless Cash Grab: Endgame is still out there raking in millions.

But what is it about Detective Pikachu that makes it so good? That allows it to resonate with audiences? And why do crusty old critics hate it so much?

Join me under the cut as I answer these questions and more!

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In Like Finn: A Speculative Analysis of the Sequel Trilogy’s Most Misunderstood Hero

Greetings folks! The results of last week’s Tumblr poll are in, and the votes tallied. Finn won by a landslide!

So today, that’s who we’re going to talk about. Who Finn is, why he’s with the Resistance, and most importantly, what lies ahead for him in The Rise of Skywalker.

Join me under the cut!

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