Kylo! Ren! Versus! Darth! Vader! Versus! Loki!

First off, I would like to apologize to the Epic Rap Battle of History team for staining their good intro with two worthless characters.

Secondly, I’m tired of Kylo. The Tumblr fandom, both for and against, have managed to elevate this character far beyond any possible role or worth he has in the story. Here’s a hint, guys: Kylo Ren is not the hero of these or any movies. He never will be. He’s not being presented as such. He’s a tragic villain who’s going to die in IX, The Dragon to Snoke. A pawn, to be used and discarded.

So this is going to be my last post on the guy. Period. No more will this idiot’s drama darken my dash.

Join me under the cut!

Backstory is not Justification

Let’s just start right here, shall we?

  • Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader, was born a slave. Later on in life, he betrayed his friends, committed multiple war crimes, joined a fascist organization, murdered his wife in a fit of jealous rage, tortured his daughter, attempted to force his son to join that same fascist organization, was the accomplice to genocide, and murdered children.
  • Loki was a war orphan adopted by a god-king. He betrayed his family, usurped the throne (twice!), committed treason, kidnapped and impersonated his father, actively attempted genocide, attempted to conquer and enslave the Earth, and allied himself with Thanos, an Omnicidal Maniac.
  • Kylo Ren was the son of two working parents. He betrayed his family, murdered all of his friends, committed war crimes, was an accomplice to genocide, tortured Poe, kidnapped and tortured Rey.

None of these characters backstories excuse their actions. Nor can they, logically.

And yet, Tumblr thinks exactly that. In both negative and positive terms, Tumblr believes, somehow, that these characters’ backstories justify, or are being attempted to justify, their actions.


Motivation Is Not Justification

  • Darth Vader was motivated by fear. Fear of loss, fear of not having enough power. Fear of not being in control.
  • Kylo Ren is motivated by a perceived neglect.
  • Loki is motivated by resentment and jealousy.

Somebody want to explain to me how, exactly, these motivations can possibly justify their actions?

Oh, right. Vader’s got the nostalgia factor, Loki is considered pretty by those with no taste, and Kylo is the result of some weird fandom obsession where boiler-plate crap from the writer-director and actor are all seen as signs of sympathy. Oy vey.

Here’s a hint: Vader’s actions? Are never presented as justified in Star Wars. They are always seen as evil, and presented as such, with the requisite consequences.

Loki, similarly, has been presented repeatedly as a coward, a liar, and a traitor. His actions are not presented in a positive light, or even justified.

Neither has Kylo Ren’s.

Likeability Is Not Justification

There was a post on my dash that said Loki was better than Kylo because Loki was more likeable.

To which I say: you do know that one of the defining traits of sociopathy is superficial charm, right?

I don’t care how ‘likeable’ you find a character. It doesn’t change what they do in canon. And in canon, Loki is an unrepentant sociopath who only cares about himself.

I don’t want to drink with him. I want to see him hang.

But Rian Wants Us To Empathize With Kylo!

Of course he does. He’s the writer-director; making us empathize with character is literally his job.

That doesn’t mean he’ll succeed. Nor does it change what Kylo Ren does on screen, which is evil, nor does it change the fate that their actions demand.

Death Is The Only Logical Outcome For These Characters

Okay, so Kylo Ren won’t die until IX.

But Vader died in RotJ. Why? Because after everything he’d done, there was no way the general audience could have accepted him surviving. And because his story was over. He no longer had any value to the ongoing narrative.

Loki should have died in Thor 2. He got the emotional death scene. His story arc was over. He’s an unrepentant sociopath with no regard for others. Everything he does is to save his own ass. His being kept alive was a cheap gift to his fans, and his continued survival really, really dragged down Thor 3. He was redundant and irrelevant, and cut into the screen time of characters who haven’t worn out their welcome, like Valkyrie and the Hulk.

Death, too, is what awaits Kylo Ren. It’s the only thing that fits his crimes, or the larger Star Wars precedent, which has killed every Vader clone ever. And his story arc, and his value to the ongoing narrative, will be over. He was Rey’s villain, her personal antagonist, and once she kills him (or convinces him to turn on Snoke, at which point Snoke will kill him), that’s it. Her arc is over. Just as Luke was.

That’s it, folks. No more fucking Kylo Ren from me. His fate was pre-ordained from the minute J.J. thought him up, and pretending otherwise is the height of stupidity.

I will enjoy watching your reactions when it turns out I’m right. And hopefully we can get a dead Loki in Infinity War. It would be long overdue.

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